Thursday, April 30, 2009

Who are We?

This question has been on my mind the last few months.. Who are we? Not, necessarily who are we, but, who am I. The obvious answer, much like an equation, would state that I am the sum of my combined actions. No lies, that is what I am to the world. A grouping of events, actions, reactions, successes, failures and so on, but is that who I am? In my mind I am a very different person, but my actions on which I am judged have created "THIS" person. For most people I suppose life is the dichotomy of duality, balancing who you want to be or who you think you are Vs. who you are.

Who I am scares me. Who I think I am does not, and I guess that is how I get through the day. I shudder at the thought of honestly profiling myself. I hear it in my head but to put it down in words would be earth shattering to my ego. Thinking about my profile, honestly, gives me the willy's. Pot head, sex fiend, escapist and that's not even really thinking about it, that's off the top of my head.

In my mind's eye, I might be delusional but I have a clearer more positive vision of who I am. My residual self image of myself is the person inside, but how is that relevant in the real world. In my mind, I am a healthy, free thinker, that works out everyday. I am confident in my creativity and my innovation and push forth into the fight with theses things in mind. I am a writer, with prolific ideas and stories and work diligently at my craft. I am a leader and well loved, responsible and calm. I am the guy that wants to take the shot, call the play, take the heat for a bad decision and revel in the glory of victory. I am the person people look at and say "what is he doing, maybe we should do that." I am the most interesting man on the planet, I don't normally drink beer but when I do, BL with lime. Apparently, I also think I am hysterical and if your not laughing with me your just to dumb to get it, at least that is what I think.

I am not my mind's eye. Although, I can be I have discovered. It's not easy but it sure sounds like it. The key I believe is a short memory. In sports the great players forget about their mistakes and move on to the next moment. If they miss 10 shots in a row, the don't remember, all they think is that they are going to make the next one. They move on, they release the habit and pattern of defeat and do not let it become ingrained programming. Fear is not an option and they rely on who they think they are, and therefore, they are.

I have been pondering the notion of becoming me, and what the steps would be to become my image of me. I find the simplest answer is usually the solution to most problems. It is the incessant thinking and reevaluation of the question that screws with most people. Who do you want to be? The answer to this question is easy, the solution easier. It's all about your mindset, your discipline, your focus and like any great achiever your ability to drown out the outside world and concentrate on what you know is right, for you, unrelenting, uncompromising determination of what you want and know.

You are who you are, at this moment, right now. If you want to be healthy, be healthy, RIGHT NOW! If you are a writer, than write, RIGHT NOW! If you are a physicist than physic, right now. If you are doing it, in this moment, than that's who you are. Don't let anyone tell you that you are not because that is not who you were yesterday. Change is difficult for everyone, it doesn't help when people who will inevitably not accept this, continue to be in your ear. Drown them out, like a heckler at a sporting event or performance, If you want to be great, part of purging the past is releasing peoples thoughts of you. You must escape from your pigeon hole because it does not exist. Do not allow people to tell you what you have done, if that is not who you are anymore. It's these people that will not allow you to be who you are, they are used to you THIS WAY, and you force them to change if you do not play into their preconception of the old you.

If you want to be a writer, WRITE NOW! If you want to be a senator, START NOW! If you want to be a chumscrubber start scrubbin that chum, RIGHT NOW! Fate is what you make (Terminator) so make it what you want. The future is not set, you do not have to be the sum of your life parts at this moment, you can begin a new equation and add the variables you deem fit.

I am writer, who is healthy, I work out everyday, I work hard at my job and yet remained focused on my career. I am good husband, son, and boss. I know what is right and have confidence in my ideas and positions. Where I am at is not where I will be and nothing anybody can say to me will change that. You are what you are at this moment, if that is what you want to be. I don't care who you were yesterday, if that is not what you believe you are today. Believe in today, this moment, who are you, right now? If you like it, than be it!

5 comments:

~alison said...

Amen! Society and our culture try to tell us who we are based on their labels and their meanings. We are who we think we are, period. We are not one thing all of the time. We are constantly changing. Love this post, Pep!

~alison said...

One additional thing -

We are the experts in our own lives. Only we really truly know who we are. Everyone else's opinion is merely their perception and not your truth.

freeling10 said...

Well said, Pepster. Inspiring words, and something we all need to be reminded of every once in a while.

Anonymous said...

Insightful and scary.

Man do I love the Internet. I was drinking strong coffee while smoking weed. I typed "coffee" and "marijuana" in Google, and ended up on your blog (you wrote a post about smoking weed and drinking coffee with your dad). Went to the frontpage of your blog, ended up on this post.

And now I'm thinking about my future, and who I am.

Oh well...

Amanda said...

The above comments are abso-fuckin'-lutely FANTASTIC. Yep, they are.

Pep, I love this post. Beautifully well-written and said and true and honest and...well, ya got me.

I've been a fan of [...love Maegan] and I'm glad I stopped by on your BLOG.

I hope you don't mind, but I'm probably going to link this post to my little newborn baby BLOG sometime next week to get my [like, 2] readers to read your words. I'll give ya due credit, don't worry.

I love hearing a guy's point of view on things, like a guy-writer's point of view.
Thanks for posting.

Good vibes! :)