Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Ask God

Dear God,

I was wondering why you created so much disease in the world?

And here are the top twenty answers from the big guy upstairs in no particular order.

20. Wha' Happin'?
19. I left the fridge door open to long, my bad.
18. Have you ever seen an ant under a magnifying glass?
17. I like the different colors.
16. People do not worship me enough, so I thought I would let them know how that totally hurts my feelings.
15. I'm a prick
14. I work in mysterious ways, just do what I say!
13. If you sin, it's my job to judge, I gave you a choice but now you must pay the piper.
12. Wha' Happin'?
11. I like to watch pain and suffering because inside I hurt.
10. I don't know, it's just something I can do, so I do it
9. It's just God being God.
8. I need all those people to staff my new P.F. CHANGS in Heaven
7. I get mad experience points and discounts at Walmart the more people I get sick.
6. I own stock in most of the pharmaceutical companies.
5. I need sacrifice to appease my insatiable appetite to teach people lessons.
4. It's just very Christian of me ya know.
3. I was bored
2. It was Jesus's idea
1. The Devil made me do it