Thursday, January 1, 2009

Writers Write

A good friend and a mentor of mine that passed away this year used to say to me, "Pep, writers write, and that's all there is to it." I have always known this to be the truth but have gone through fazes in my life where I have not been a writer. The last two and a half years I have been on a self imposed hiatus from my dream for many reasons. I opened up three shops in the last couple of years and not to make excuse but they have definitely taken their creative toll on me. Secondly, before the break, I had also taken quite a few writing hits to my ego. I had enrolled in a writing course that totally reworked my writing style and to be honest, overwhelmed me looking back. They threw so many concepts at me it was hard to assimilate the new techniques into my system. Out of old and bad habits, my previous writing style tried to fend of the new skills, like a body rejecting a donor organ, and in doing so brought me to a stand still. Again, they sound like excuses and to an extent they are, you can't get around it, it is what it is.

On top of that, I know, here it comes, vicious, excuse number three, and actually the catalyst for my entry into the writing course was my agent. I was very excited about writing my first script for my representaion, very excited and to say the least, I fucked it up. I wasn't clear with the process, I rushed, I was so to excited, I couldn't temper my enthusiasm and in that sense delivered a rather muddled and unrefined piece of material. It was so bad my agent didn't even want to talk about. I had built up a lot around that piece of work and to hear it wasn't even good enough to comment on was, how do you say, heartbreaking. The whole circumstance was eye opening and crushing all at the same time. I had come to realize what I was doing was just the tip of the iceberg and nobody was going to let me slide with half ass work.

They say what makes a true winner and a real champion is how well you deal with adversity and to tell you what, lately I have not been acting like one. I think I lost a little confidence in the process but I never stopped thinking about my stories. I would like to think that the years have actually made me better as a writer, but there is no way to know if that's true until I start to write. I have always been a big concept guy. Always able to come up with the levels of a story, the intricate plot points of a script, but at times were either to scared to add the human drama or incapable of translation. I think after living the emotional drama of defeat that that will add to the depth of my work. It sounds good in theory.

This year I will bounce back, gone are the times of feeling sorry myself. The only thing to do is write. Writers write, writers write and practice makes perfect. I want to thank my wife for writing everyday for the last year and showing me what writers do. I had forgotten and appreciate the reminder. Writers write, and I cannot forget that, and I do not believe I ever will again. From this day on there will not be a day when I do not do, what it is I was meant to do. The only way to survive is change, the only way to succeed is through persistence, dedication and hard work and nothing, and I mean nothing, that you want, ever come easy or without a fight. Everybody gets knocked down, you are judged on if you can get up. I can get up, I thought I couldn't for a while but that is never the case. I am a writer and I WRITE!