Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Opposite day ; The Heat Makes Me Crazy!

After yesterdays heartfelt appreciation the heat has flipped my switch and I believe it is pointed in the direction of what irks me to no end. Let me make a list for everyone to see.

1. Bush supporters who are now flag burning liberals. Exactly! Before the last couple of years I have been noticing quite a few people jumping of the Bush bandwagon and trying to align their political views with mine. I am not having it, if you were a Bush supporter 8 years ago you were a douche then and you are still a douche now regardless of what side of the fence you are on. Except of course if you are a douche that supported Bush back then, the same douche supporting Bush now, and the future douche that will support McCain, I tip my hat to you... at least you are consistent.

2. Wannabees who criticize shit they could never do. I at times fall into this category as I will right now. Kobe Bryant sucks blah blah blah blah blah. I wannabe an NBA player for that matter any sort of professional athlete, so what do I do criticize something that I could never possibly do. I can't hit a 16 foot fade away jumper with a 7 foot tall defender closing in on me but when Kobe doesn't make it I have all the advice in the world for him. I am not into the I could do it better if I try, well then stop yapping and do it if not shut up and continue to live in your fantasy world in silence. People that can do don't sit around and watch other people that's for people who don't.

3. Don't tell me what to do with my animal if you don't have an animal, furthermore if you have one animal right this moment for the first time keep watching the Dog Whisperer and shut up. I promise I don't need the advice from a first time parent, spare me.

4. People that have never been in shape telling me how to work out or eat, work on yourself, I'll listen when you are rocking Gerard Butler's body from 300 until then shove another Twinkle in your mouth.

5. Heat, who the hell can I blame for this one, no one really but all those people that are like "it's not that hot you should try down south". You try down south, deep down south.

6. People that think god punishes the sinners like gays, and Jews and other races that do not conform to their archaic way of thinking. Gay marriage in California all good floods in Iowa all bad must be some serious sinners in those mid American red states. Where are all the priest and ministers now talking about how much Iowa has sinned. Maybe god is gay.

7. Keeping with the trend, people that credit god with all the good and none of the bad. Hooray God! How do I get on that program maybe Mr. Cruise can help me.

8. Book smart jack asses that are usually the smartest dumb people I know. knowledge in a book is not practical experience with life. Well, I read that this happens when this happens, alright terdwich but I am telling you I have seen it happen and participated in the happening that little bit of info may be a tad bit more relevant.

9. Free advice and the one upper. I am not asking so save it and I don't care if you know of a better place, a bigger slice of pizza, a cheaper place to buy my books, the most reliable hit man. I promise 90 percent of the time I don't ask but 100 percent of the time I get some awesome free advice that I do not want. I got this so and so for 9 dollars oh really I know where to get for 8. Thanks... for nothing! I just got back from vacation, oh really I just got back from a better one.

10. Assholes that blog about there problems with everything and everybody, LIKE ME!

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