Friday, November 7, 2008

Monday, November 3, 2008

Grandma's Secrets

I have been playing around with an idea for a new story, a television show to be more specific that kinda revolves around my Grandma and her secrets. My Grandma had a lot of secrets, I know this. I used to live with her for two years and prior to that, hung out with her on the weekends and she always had a trick up her sleeve. I realized that these where resonating thoughts that I had of her and how much fun it would be if I embellished them tad. And then I thought, well, if I was to exaggerate those tidbits, why not exaggerate all the tidbits and wouldn't that be entertaining. These of course are not exaggerations, yet.

When I would spend time at her house, there would always be an instance that we needed money for something, like, dinner at McDonald's or a trip to Toys' R US or a new video game at the Price Club. Acquiring that money with my Grandma was always an adventure, an adventure to get a treasure, that we had just discovered we wanted. There were always the usual suspects starting with the mail, because there was always, somebody, sending my Grandma money, don't ask me who. I suppose a story for another time but always somebody or something puttin' some cash, in an envelope and sending it her way, it was rather amazing and honestly never got old. The walks to the mailbox on the days we were searching for money always seemed, no, were exciting!

If something had sabotaged our attempts at the mailbox center to procure money, then it would be on to option 2, which would be to scour my Grandma's condo for loot. She always knew where she had hidden her money but she would let me search, giving me clues to where things might be, until steering me in the wrong direction wasn't fun anymore. Once she had enjoyed her little game, she would go to one of her many incredible spots, my favorite always being inside the seams of the curtains, no, that shit, is original gangster shit there. You are hiding your money from the police when you are sewing that shit up, GANGSTA! She would unsew the curtains and, Walla! There it was, some money for our treasure, it was awesome!

If for whatever reason those two ways were empty or exhausted, well then, we would have to go talk to somebody, which was always fun. Grandma would put me in the car and we would drive, for what seemed like hours but was really only about 15 minutes, until we reached a restaurant, an apartment, a bus stop anywhere, somewhere that I didn't know, but she did. When we got out of the car there would always be a different person, but they all knew Grandma and evidently, they knew my late Grandfather as well, as apparent to comments they would make to me as the were pinching me cheek or smacking my face. After the pleasantries the person would hand my Grandma a small envelope with a little bit of money in it. I would always wonder who was that person? Why are they doing that? What is going on? But she always made it seem so smooth , so fun, so much like an adventure.

When my Grandma died I could only think about the happy times, and as the time has passed, I think about them more, and how special they were, and how special she was. How she made everything so amazing and so magical as impossible as that seems. And now I feel her memory motivates me, to be what she saw in me, and I hope she will be part of my journey. I hope by living up to what I am supposed to be I can show the whole world how special she was to me. I love you Grandma.

Saturday, November 1, 2008


I figured I would establish a written plan of attack for the month of November, you know, so that I could, keep myself motivated. Step one, write on this stupid page everyday, at least this month, so that I can get into the habit of consistently writing daily - again. Even though this is a cheesy post, it is a post none the less. Beyond writing , on this Blog, I must cultivate viable stories and concepts for future projects. This is the list of Projects I will attempt to work on this month, hopefully I will choose a couple or even maybe a few to pursue and brainstorm enough of the rest to be able to return to them at any time.

Please realize that some of these ideas are more fleshed out than others. I will put them down in the order of specific interest and not necessarily the order in which I have the most thoughts, or maybe they are I don't know.

IN THE BEGINNING; it is a story of the Devil and what happened before the creation of humanity and what took place in the events before he was cast out of Heaven. I pretty much have the plot and have almost completed the emotional story arc for the characters. I have a lot invested in this story, it has been in my head for about 7 or 8 years and have always been too scared to write, thinking a was never ready and my skills not fine tuned enough, but when will you ever be ready for anything.

The Story of Pep and I; it's a personal story about the beginnings of my marriage. Many people have suggested writing it but I have always felt it to soon. But like the latter when is it ever the right time, I guess, when you are ready, is the right time. It's a great story very emotional and sordid, the stuff Hollywood is made of. I have a few ideas for it, like telling the story out of order and setting up a third act that is full of answers to questions we have been leading up to through the whole second act. It's hard to explain but It could be very compelling and building the need to know what happened with the audience could be quite fun.

Tentatively titled: Ghost World (will change) I am a big Ghost Hunters fan but it definitely walks the line of seriousness and ridiculousness. I think it would be hilarious to delve into this world, mockumentary style, and then turn it into a full blown horror with moments of comedy peppered in. Rival ghost hunting organizations compete for the title of the ultimate ghost hunters at a secret competition that turn out to be more than they expected.

Holy Shit; it basically is my slant on religion. Again, coming from a cynical point of view but filled with undertones of hope, I have been mulling this idea for sometime now. A few years back I become obsessed with a religion due to it's absurd ideas and from that point on I have always felt that there was a screenplay in that topic. I have a few plot points and a few emotional arcs but it is basically pretty raw, this of course does not mean that I could not bust out a script for it.

Hacksaw; one of my early mentors in writing the late Ed Jones led an amazing life. The prize of his writing collection was his autobiography Hacksaw. It is an amazing book and for some reason the movie could not ever be made. Most of his post prison life was revolved around getting this project made, he wrote a version, Ron Sheldon wrote several version but for some reason the film never got made. I of course have a few subtle ideas for the script that I think would surely differentiate it between any other previous versions. I have always wanted to adapt this for the screen, but again fear has ruled my thought process doubting my ability to tackle such a great story.

I have a few more ideas, a Television show called 99 boxes, a movie titled Revolution and a pipe dream, Madden the Movie.

My mission, pick three of these and make it happen, for me, for the country, and for the overall benefit of mankind!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Chapter 4: Grandma


The sun peeks through the overcast day and through the window shining a light on a KEY resting on a coffee table.
DAVID PACE (16), bright eyed and curious eats some fresh made candy that his Grandma had just set down. He puts a piece of chocolate in his mouth and savors the full flavor.

Nobody makes candy like you Grandma.

GRANDMA RUTH (93) old and wise, but unusually together and spry brings another plate of goodies from the kitchen. David cannot get enough of the chocolate and delightfully stuffs another into his mouth.

DAVID (cont’d)
(Mouth full)
Seriously Grams this stuff is awesome.

One day maybe I will let you in on my secrets.

David LAUGHS and reaches under the coffee table and pulls out a PHOTO ALBUM labeled FAMILY. He opens it and looks at the pictures.

Ten children Grams that’s amazing how come I only ever see my Dad and Aunt Jo?

They are very busy.

To busy for you, how is that possible.

Grandma Ruth sits down on a chair exhaling deeply as her butt makes contact with the cushion. David reaches for the key on the table an 1125 etched into it’s side.

SLAP! Grandma Ruth smacks his hand and snatches the key with the quickness of a women a third of her age.

DAVID (cont’d)
Ow! I was just looking.

You know what the say about curiosity.

It killed the grandson, I know, I know.

That’s right. There is a time and a place for everything and this is not the time.

Wow. What is that key to?

Grandma Ruth drops the key into her pocket, and looks at her grandson sternly.

Don’t snoop for this, do you understand?

Yes Grandma.

David watches intently as his Grandmother leaves the room hoping to catch a glimpse at where she may be hiding this new Secret.

David scans the room “treasures everywhere and he knew it”. He starts turning over every little knick knack. He see’s a GOLD CANDY DISH behind a plant. Odd that he had never noticed it before. He checks for his Grandma.
The coast was clear and he reaches for the DISH. He looks at it carefully and then grabs it -- but it won’t open. After further inspection he realizes that it is a trick box with a special pattern to open it.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

The Rumors of Their Demise Have Been Greatly Exaggerated

When Tom Brady went down I was for sure one of the people that had written of the Patriots and had assumed they would not make the play-offs and go 0-16. I was wrong, not the first time and definitely not the last. My predictions have been, how would you say - a little off this season, okay alot off. Why wouldn't I assume the Patriots were done after losing an iconic quarterback, I don't know because they also had a bunch off other pro bowlers on the team and a hall of fame coach. At times I don't like to mix risky fact in with my predictions, I actually like to throw it out the window as much as possible.

I am not saying that the Pats are going to win the Superbowl, but I will say that the Pats as a team and an organization are more than a handsome quarterback that can throw 50 touchdowns in a season. They are a well oiled machine and when your engine blows sometimes it takes a little while but with a replacement part added to an already prime machine it will get going again, maybe not like before but totally serviceable. Last night the Patriots lost two more key players and again old me was ready to send them up the river, but I paused when I had this thought and realized they still have a boat load of paddles.

Tom Brady in his first six games was 4-2 as the starter and completed roughly 63% of his passes. Matt Cassel after 6 games 4-2 completing roughly about 63% of his passes. Again they are not the same, obviously Matt Cassel is not hooking up with Giselle - yet and after six games into his starting career neither was Tom.

Look the Pats are not going to win the Superbowl, but if we are to look at history it would not be that far fetched, considering the team, the organization, and the coach. Stranger things have happened. The Patriots are going to make the play-offs and they a going to win a game and this is way more than I ever thought they were going to do after week one. Never doubt the heart of a champion and maybe possibly, never doubt the Patriots and Bellichik.


I will be reposting my chapters in script form and all subsequent chapters from this point on will be in screenplay format.

Chapter 3 : Enter

David stares out the gate that surrounds his school when he feels a tap on his shoulder. "So are you going to tell about this message are what?" Pharell eagerly asks. David thinks about it but not for long. "I'll tell you, but I will tell you as soon as we get of school grounds.". "You can't make me wait 'till after school dude.". "Then we will just have to leave now." David begins to climb the fence to the great disbelief of his friend. "We could get in so much trouble... Flip it!" Pharell slowly ascends the gate and follows.

"She just said 1125, run, and in the message she said go in David, go in. I mean each time the last word was ya know, like frantic." They continue to walk down the street, Pharell is astonished by what he hears. "What does it mean, I'm so excited, this is like a movie and we are the stars." the excitement swelling in Pharell's eyes. "First of all if it was a movie, I am the star" Pharell shrugs at the thought of anything with him in it, in which he would not be the star "Secondly it's not cool dude."

A bus drives down the street it's driver focused on the road and nothing else. David realizes that there is no ambient noise. "SSHHHH!" David motions to Pharell to be quiet. "I hear nothing" and then. The LOUD rumbling of a Passenger bus comes into focus.

BEEP! BEEP! the alarm on David's phone begins to ring. David knows before he can look it's 11:25. "Why is your alarm going off?" Pharell asks. "I set it for 11:25 just for poo and laughs". Suddenly...

The bus driver passes out and the vehicle begins to accelerate towards Pharell and David. David looks into the bus and realizes what is happening. The bus crashes into a parked car but continues on course right at David and Pharell. "RUN!" David screams and grabs Pharell. They Bus is upon them and David and Pharell jump onto a front lawn as the bus speeds by them. A huge crash and the boys look up to inspect the damage. "Holy Shit!" David gets up and dust himself off. "What are those numbers again?" Pharell asks. "1125, why?" as he says it he looks at the address on the front door of the house, 1125. The door slowly opens.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

To Romo or not to Romo

Sundays game between the Dallas Cowboys and the St. Louis Rams wouldn't jump out at you as a must watch but if you are a Cowboys fan there will be plenty to be interested in. The most important thing of course is the status of injured quarterback Tony Romo and will he play or won't he scenario. I just wanted to mention this topic first so you wouldn't think that I was going to leave it out, but I am going to wait till the end of this post to discuss it.

To the next point of interest Dallas style. Pac Man is back or not but is, you know what I mean. J.J. likes to take the risks and sometimes they work and sometimes they don't, Adam was not one of the successful experiments at least not yet. It will be interesting to see how the Dallas secondary will react with most of the core starters out with injury or suspended. The Rams are not the same offense they have been in years past so this in theory would be a great opportunity for the young Dallas DB's to get some quality work in without the fear of a full blown aerial assault.

My second or third thing to watch for is how Roy Williams the receiver fits into the mix and how well he can compliment the volatile Terrell Owens. This could be devastating combo add Witten into the mix and Crayton as the slot and the hands team for the Boys could be unstoppable. Let's hope Terrel can keep his cool as inevitably he will not get as many passes in his direction but could end up being more open when he does get thrown to.

Coming full circle let's get into Romo and his pinkie. Now word on the street is, is that Romo will not play. My gut feeling thinks this is a bad idea. If Romo can play he should be out making it happen, the Cowboys need him right now. The Boys are in a little bit of a spin now and really need something to put them together. This is the perfect time for Romo to make his final step into greatness. Granted since he became starter of the Cowboys no one in the league has been more productive but he still is missing that final piece to elevate him into the category of Peyton, Brady and Favre. Now I know the obvious is win a play off game but this is not the case.

Tony needs to take this moment and become the hands down leader of this team. He has been leader by example but now he has to become it in the locker room. He needs to reign in this team the way only a superstar NFL QB can. The Cowboys need to let him play. Romo wants to play and this team needs to see him play. The team needs to see Romo say this is my team and I will not let them slide. He needs to be out there and grab this team by the horns and let them know, this is my team, injured or not it's mine. Not T.O. not Marion Barber not Jerry Jones but Tony Romo. He needs to walk on to that field Sunday with his broken pinkie and say nothing will stop me and nothing will stop us. This is his final test and the Cowboys must let him take it.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Chapter 2 : The Message

David presses the the voicemail button on his phone. "You have one new message" the automated voice replies. WHISPERS permeate the inside of David's ear and then, screaming "11 25 ... Run!! Go IN David, GO IN!!". David drops the phone and steps away in shock. "Pull it together man!" He picks up the phone and tries to replay the message. " Message erased, thank you, goodbye" the voice on the phone speaks and then disconnects. David repeatedly tries to get the message back but it is gone as quickly as it came.

The sun shines through the window onto a kitchen counter top. Jonathan Pace sits in a daze at the counter pushing a spoon through his cereal. David enters and notices his zombie like father toying with his breakfast. His expression bleak and lost, David does not know how to react. "Are you all right?" he asks his father who gives no response. "Dad?" his father snaps out of it and looks up at his son. "Things are so different now" Jonathan mumbles. "I don't know what anything means anymore" David realizes he will not be able to communicate the prior events to his father at this moment. "What are you going to do today Pop?". No answer, David assesses the situation and determines his best plan of attack would be to head out to school and let his father get a grip. "Hey dad I'm going to go to school now, cool?". "Yes that's fine David." he answers and goes back to his faux eating. David walks up and hugs his father and leaves for school. As he walks out the door he notices his father's cell phone indicates he has a voice mail. Could it be the same as his, could his father have received the same message. It all sounded so crazy. As much as he wanted his father to look at his phone, he decided this was not the time to entertain his crazy notions with his father, but he would not soon forgot the blinking message.

Putting on his sun glasses David starts to walk to school. The sun is shining bright but a peculiar orangish haze coats the sky. He looks up and notices but chalks it up to the weirdness of the morning. It's quiet and unusually peaceful for this time of morning. He takes a deep breath and continues down his path.

"DUDE!" a shrill voice rings through the peaceful air. "DUDE! WAIT UP!" Pharell Dover a short stocky eccentrically dressed 16 year old boy runs up to David. Adjusting his wizard hat as he comes upon David he gasps for breath. "Why are you running so fast?" Pharell spits out. "I haven't hit a stride faster than a walk P" . "I don't know you were moving pretty fast! Why didn't you come by my place this morning, I have been texting you all morning".

That's strange he thinks to himself I haven't got one. "My phone has been acting crazy today, my Grandma died last night and I think she called me this morning!"



Since there is not a review for this game anywhere online I figured I would give you guys the skinny on the game to date as I know. Let's start it off by saying that as soon as I put the game in I had to load an OS update for my PS3. This is typical of Sony, anytime I want to buy a game and play it you can guarantee that there will be some new update that you must download and install before it will let you play the game. Last night it took upwards of 30 minutes to an hour to update my new OS and to install, YEAH. Good thing I had planned on playing the game this weekend and that my friend had warned me about the time waste ahead of time so that I could properly prepare days in advance so that I could play on the day I wanted to. Good thing I didn't want to play that minute or I might have been upset.

Okay so I did that, then of course I had to install the game to my hard drive before I could even see the opening screen. Wow, it took another two hours for me to download again and install again another load of bull puckey. This borders on ridiculous and even though I had told myself ahead of time this would be the case it did not make it any less frustrating. Finally three hours later the game was finally installed and ready to play?

I finally reached the opening screen and at this point I wanted to check out some options maybe tweak my guy a bit, you know customize my weapons choose my kick ass gear and so on. Not Happening. I could not connect to the server. I did not realize if I could not connect to the server I would be able to see any part of the game. It's bad enough they cheese you out with no story mode/one player mode, really who makes a game like this? I could not access one thing on the game, not one thing! How do you release a game on Tuesday and have people spend their hard earned money and not let them do one thing beside downloading updates that you don't need since you can't play the game. I can't do anything with the game, three hours of effing crap to then NOT be able to do one thing. WOW!

Sony has some major issues on their hands I have never been a part of such a travesty, I can't believe I bought this game and did all the shit they had me do (This would never happen on 360) so that I could watch a title screen. Socom rating 0 and seriously guys get your head out of your asses!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Chapter 1 : New Beginnings


DAVID PACE lay in bed. The ring incorporating itself into his dream.


His eyes open, and then he notices the clock 6:30 A.M. never a good sign. He reaches for the phone and checks the caller ID. It reads Grandma. "Hello? Grandma?". Indecipherable whispers answer from the other end. "Grandma?" silence and then. "1125... RUN!!!" click. The phone powers down and the call is gone. He looks at the phone. "GRANDMA!" nothing but silence. He tries to turn the phone back on but the battery is dead.

David slowly rises from his bed befuddled at the what had just transpired. "What was that? 11 25" he wipes the sleep from his eyes and walks to his laptop. He looks at picture of him and his Grandma.


David looks to the door "Come in". His Father enters a somber look upon his face. "Dad what's wrong?" His Father sits on the bed not making eye contact. "Pop?"
David's father gathers his strength and slowly vocalizes his worst nightmare. "Your Grandmother died last night" David can see the pain as his father holds back tears. "She died early this morning". David looks at the picture and does not know what to say. What was that call? It's not possible, what should he say to his father a rush of thoughts and emotions swell inside his chest. "Pop, I am so sorry". His Father rises from the bed and begins to leave the room and then stops. "Why are you up?" his father asks. Not knowing how to handle the question David immediatly moves to an excuse "Bad Dreams, woke me up" his father nods and leaves the room. "I'm sorry" is all David can eek out as his father exits.

David more confused than before looks for his phone charger and plugs in his phone hoping to find an answer. He powers it up as it charges.


A new message signal appears on his phone. "What the fuck?" David stares at the new message indicator in disbelief.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Marijuana + Coffee = Hyper Crazy Time

This morning I drove up to my Father's pad to say hi and shoot the shit. Before I arrived I told myself not to drink any of my Padre's jet fuel coffee when I got there. I knew I would by smoking a little weed with him and figured the addition of the coffee to potent weed doesn't always pan out the way I like. Furthermore the addition of weed to any sort of caffeinated jolt usually does not have the desired affect. In college my roommate had told me that his mother called this combination of delightfulness a "Mexican Speedball".

I walk in the door and the first thing he says to me is "how 'bout a cup of coffee?" I hesitate for less than a second and reply "Sure why not" even though I had told myself two minutes earlier to decline, typical. Of course he rolls a joint of awesome Banana Kush and now I am smoking super potent weed and drinking hyper crazy coffee. As soon as finish the coffee, as SOON, shit starts racing. Thoughts about my life, what I should be doing, how dumb I am, should I work out more, change my diet, take a nap, run a mile, chop my hand off, pee myself, you know the norm, right? This continued for about an hour. The whole time during this hour my Father and I converse about how ridiculous it is to drink so much coffee and smoke weed. Yet we will do it again, and again and...

I have a lot of natural energy so when I smoke it levels me out (nice excuse). So if I am trying to slow it down why am I adding energy to the mix let alone furious energy. My actions at times are absurd even to myself. When I left, my father was ready to take a Valium, and honestly so was I. We both decided to muscle through the self imposed anxiety attack and move on with the rest of our day. I am however doing his shift for him though, so his Valium may still be coming.

Morale of the story. If you know shit is going to make you crazy, it's going to make you crazy. You know what I am saying.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Cool Site

If you are into crazy science shit this is a really cool site. It was posted on a street sign in the last episode of Fringe. It has some cool science fact. If you are into fringe sciences check it out.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

California Love

Funny, makes me laugh! HAHAHAHAHHA

Friday, September 12, 2008

Pretty Cute

I don't know, thought i would share some cuteness.


Channeling my inner Smithers.

Enjoy and have a nice day!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Chicken Worm? or Mmm Mmm Good!

I am easily influenced by commercials, I am obviously not the only one but... easily swayed by a good campaign. In Jr. High I ate Butterfinger and drank Minute Maid Orange soda because I had mad respect for Atlanta Hawk super forward Dominique Wilkens and Bart Simpson. Back to the subject at hand, commercials, there god like power over me, and KFC.

The chicken is how do I put it, intoxicating, at least the smell and the skin. That's what I think of when I see the commercial the smell... the original recipe skin... I have been trained much like a dog to have a response when the image is presented. Well at least I have identified the cause and the affect of the situation but I can't readily be aware psychically that a KFC add will be presenting itself in 30 seconds and by the time the color scheme, voice, imagery are being processed by my EYES! it's too late, so truly resistance is futile.

So, I was hunting for a KFC by my work, I actually drove out of my way to search for a location so I knew where to go directly when the ideal time presented itself, luckily I found one just a mile out of the way, SCORE! Planning my attack, I swooped into work, gathered an appetite, coerced a co-worker into my mystery lunch I had planned for him and left on my way to KFC. I specifically wanted the boneless original recipe chicken tenders that I have been seeing the commercials for. These commercials only confirm my theory... well not my theory but a high school friend Blin's theory that KFC has created a genetically perfect creature known as a ChickenWorm.

ChickenWorm, created for the sole purpose of KFC and it's loyal following of almost obese to morbidly obese patrons (unfortunately I probably fall into one of those categories). The stories that I have heard of this mythical creature is that it's fifteen feet long with no beak, talons or feathers, it has one head and 15 pairs of breasts and legs. I also hear that they grow that delicious skin on the ChickenWorm pre-engineered with the 11 secret herbs and spices. That's why it's so addictive! and THAT'S why those damn commercials make me drool!

Frankly I don't care what I eat as long as it smells and tastes good. If you could dip Solient Green (SPOILER ALERT: SOLIENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!) in ranch it would probably taste good and I would eat it, don't go down in a plane with me. My only guilt with eating everything is it's affect on the environment and I get past it. Sure if I think about it, I would probably say humans are and should be vegetarians, Gorillas are vege's and they are some strong mothereffers! But at this point I'm on the shit and any sort of logical guilt associated with my veracious appetite for this crap is long gone.

Talky, talky, talky... apparently full of my own words today so I will wrap this up. I have eaten The Original Recipe Boneless Chicken Strips and they are like the first episode of Fringe C+, but unlike Fringe I see little room for improvement on this product. You know I had wished this day for many a year "why don't they make chicken strips with KFC original recipe? that would be delightful!". I think I hyped it to much in my head, really never giving the product a chance in Hell to steal my heart. Oh well till' the next awesome product (CHICKEN BOWL!) peace out!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

On the Fringe

Last night was the series premiere of J.J. Abrams Fringe and I would give it a C+. It is very much like X-Files meets Alias meets Lost which in theory could be kinda of cool but we will really have to wait and see. It was a typical first episode lots and lots of set-up for everyone so if the plot of the pilot was not poppin' it tends to drag and this was no exception. I will tell you that as much as I love Lost you have to differentiate yourself from the latter to eventually be able to stand on your own. Right off the bat they are in an airplane so reminiscent of the Oceanic Six Jet liner from Lost that it was cool then super tarded. Really in a plane? Really? I know totally going for the Lost viewers but a bit too much, then most of the dramatic transition music between scenes sounded eerily familiar, because I had heard them before on another show (Lost). That's cool I couldn't stop thinking about one of my favorite episodic but still. There are also Daddy issues which seem to be a fairly common theme for Mr. Abrams again cool, I can relate but still alot of similarities. Finally they showed symbols through out the commercial break and finally in the last scene that where I dunno exactly like the symbols representing the different hatches on the Lost island. I think this show will be good as it moves more towards a modern X-files and away from Lost comparisons that inevitably will happen. Really I think it will be cool but first episodes are tough (not for Lost). I look forward to next weeks episode for a better feel of where the show is headed. If you like the shows I have mentioned I would definitely give it a try.

Friday, August 22, 2008

All the Van Damage you Need

I loved this guy back in the day. I am glad to see he may be back especially in a way that we can all laugh about. Go get'em J.C.V.D. It has subtitles and is a little rough but if you like the Van Damninater it will be totally worth it.

Just in case you were wondering If this dude is off the chain I have a few more examples of my boys skills back in the day.

But Wait there's more!

And More! Nice BONER! - Van Damn Tastic!

I knew he looked familiar

The River Denial and the Oars of Change

The hardest thing in life to do is change, especially when we all have property on the river, and trust me we all do. The answers to change are always as close as outside your door, but the majority of us would rather look out the window at the river, present company included. If your trying to get in shape, kick bad habits, start new careers, move to the next stage of life or putting the dishes in the dishwasher it takes a very concerted effort to break the barrier of change. Add, it always seems easier to go back to old way even though you know it's not better. I write and create ideas but I run away from it because my current pattern has nothing to do with those things. So I fight myself, get my kayak out and get on the river once again. I hate to think that I must wait for the flood to destroy my house before I can move away, when I can clearly see the storm coming. But I have always seemed to see the storm coming, I'm just dumb enough to think that if I board my place up enough the hurricane won't hit my house.

Change;To alter; to make different; to cause to pass from one state to another; as, to change the position, character, or appearance of a thing; to change the countenance.

The words are clear, but the definition so difficult. How is that possible, again the answer in the definition, the answer to all of your problems in 29 words. That definition will be my motto from now on. All the problems of the world could be answered in 29 words. Look at everything and apply that definition and the solution is present. If you observe the planet that we live on, you must acknowledge the fact that the real place we reside has been around for a very long time and it has survived through change, adaption and perseverance. The planet hurts now because it's inhabitants are so unwillingly to acknowledge those 29 word, that they will destroy the thing that gives it everything. But the planet will survive because it will change with or without us. And if you peer into your on personal microcosm ask yourself are you destroying your planet your soul because you cannot listen to those 29 words.

I speak to you, but really to me, you must grab those paddles, those Oars of Change and push, as hard as you can even when the current flows against you. Even as your arms burn and your mind tells you stop and give in dig deep. Push, don't give up, don't stop, keep paddling there is a way out. Change yourself and fight your way across the river there is another shore, it's there open your eyes, your heart and your soul to the possibilities hiding in the corners of your mind. Change is as easy as reading those 29 words if you want it. Grab your Oars and paddle your way across the river or continue to look out the window at your River of Denial.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008


How long do you keep fighting the signs you see. I have been seeing them a lot lately but have been trying as hard as I can to ignore them. My career is volatile to say the least and really, just about every day something kicks me in the balls. I sleep bad because of it and am constantly waiting for a piano to fall out of the sky and crush me. So much so that I wear a helmet to work. I love my father he is my pa pa but at some point I must look at the obvious. I worry about profit loss, robbery's, raids, the city planning commission. This was not what I had hoped for in a career and to be frank I think at times it attacks my creative flow. I am to scared to break away from the money and thus continue down a path littered with road signs that say "Get the Hell off - NOW! - RIGHT HERE!" but I watch those signs in my rear view as I drive past. Everything I do in my current world is unrewarding, even if my businesses make money the next day the air conditioner goes down, or I am robbed or my Father is having a shitty day or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Every time I don't think anything worse can happen it does. I got my father involved in a real estate deal a couple of years ago and now he is going to lose his investment because of the market. I was burglarized last Thursday I haven't even finished the repairs on my shop then this morning I get a call about how stupid I am for bringing the investment to him. And he's right. Why do I try to play a game I don't want to play and one I am particularly not a game I am particularly good at. No offense to my Papa but everything we get involved with together is a shit storm. Not his fault it is just the facts, all I can think of is are these signs. The answer is clear -- Yes. I'm just in denial and I don't want to see the truth. It is smacking me in the face every day though it seems. At some point I need to make a stand for myself and believe in myself. I need to have a plan with a timeline. I need to believe in a future without the added pressure of the things that I am involved with. I feel bad all the time about my job I am the bearer of bad news, and it is taking it's toll. Things have to change.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Praise God

Thank You Jesus!

Monday, August 11, 2008

Wednesday, July 30, 2008


I have been playing fighting games for a pretty good portion of my video game life. The one that stood out early was Street Fighter 2. I would play it religiously, trekking my way to the nearest liquor store to achieve my prepubescent fix. Winner stay on was all I needed to know. With a dollar in quarters and five for Minute Maid Orange Soda and Butterfinger my evenings were budgeted and set. I went everywhere to play all the time it was great. And then came a lull, I was in college and partying alot going to class a bit and not quite as focused on my fighting skills. The Dreamcast by Sega came out and I was back in the loop (some would say I was never out but they never realized the level of my fanaticism). At the time I was raving a lot and occasionally experimenting with some goodies that at times would heavily enhance the visual content of what I was playing. I had just purchased the first Soul Caliber and had gotten home early in the morning with a group of friends who were also chemically enhanced. We popped in the title and began to play for 14 hours straight it was magnificent, the greatest single fighting game experience of our lives. Why am I telling you this? Because I just got Soul Caliber 4 and I wanted you to know what it had to live up to.

Initially I was impressed by the graphics, stunning, I can't tell you about the technical stuff because I don't know, but it looks effin sweet. After the first couple of matches I gotta tell you I was a little let down, wasn't quite livin' up to the memory of the drug induced marathon session from years back. So I put it down, but when I picked it up again something clicked, well to be honest I got my first achievement on 360 so that was definitely the foreplay for my Soul Caliber hump session. I don't know what it was but I was lovin' it. The game play was very fluid once you learned the moves, able to chain together effective combos and was fairly easy after a couple of hours. The characters are amazing to look at and I mean amazing to look at. If you are a dude, which of course I am you will be thoroughly impressed by the attire of the female fighters, one word skimpy. All an All once I put the time in, I found it to be a very deep and enjoyable fighter. Really, the most fun I have had with one in years and to think I wasn't going to buy it because I wanted to wait for DC Vs Mortal Kombat -- DUMB!

The different modes in the game are totally fun. I played Arcade Mode, Tower, Vs, and Story and all of them FANTASTIC! The more crap you plow through the more hidden treasures like new weapons will become accessible. So it's worth the time because you also get way better and that is for sure the point of the game. There is also a create a character mode which is sweet as sheiiieeeat!!! I have created Phoenix Samurai and he is bad ass. The character create is fairly rewarding, you can pretty much make a unique character with the extensive palette. The more you play with him the more powerful he gets.

I would say buy this game and play for hours. I bought this game, not that that should sway you I did buy Lost the game(which is greaaaaat!) but it is really good. For a more in depth review check out . I give it a B+ and a definite buy. Till next time.

Crazy Nuts!

Ron "Crazy Nuts" Artest has been dealt to the Houston Rockets. Wha happin' I thought he was coming to the Lakers. The Rockets got him for Nothing Bobby Jackson and a draft pick. Houston is going to be pretty damn sweet next year with two big time defensive stoppers in Artest and Battier and the Chinese tree Yao. I don't know if Ron is sane but he can pay and in the end that's all that matters. I guess they will be awesome till Yao gets hurt "no offense" . Houston you have a problem and his name is Ron Artest. Go lakers!

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Madden Curse; Save Brett

Let's get this straight, curses are real! Ask the Chicago Cubs, Hurley from Lost, Kenny from South Park, Dorian Grey, and the list of athletes from the covers of Sports Illustrated and John Madden Football. There is a new addition to the list this year and for all my recollection I have never seen a curse use such a heavy hand with it's cursed victim. Brett Favre is the newest and potentially most devastating addition to the list. He graces the cover of Madden Football this year and the poo has hit the fan. Since 2000 every athlete on the cover has been jinxed. Here is a brief history, 2000 Dorsey Levens never the same after the cover, 2001 Eddie George fell off the planet, Dante Culpepper blew out his knee lost best receiver, Marshall Faulk analyst for the NFL network never played a full season again, 2004 Micheal Vick in prison! 2005 perennial tough guy Ray Lewis worst season on record, 2006 Donovan McNabb hasn't played 16 since, 2007 Shaun Alexander cannot find a team to play for which brings us up to speed with Brett Favre.

Never have I seen the curse resort to such drastic measures as it has with Brett. The curse knowing who it was dealing with knew that it could not injure the great Favre so it stooped to a new all time low. The curse is strange and powerful and it started it's attack early. It took a hold of General Manager Ted Thompson knowing what was going to happen, knowing Brett would be the cover boy, knowing that it could not defeat him on it's own, the curse looked for a concubine to deliver it's message. The curse seeped it's way into the Packer organization as soon as the season was over already foreseeing the future. For some unexplainable reason the Packers turned on Favre or is it unexplainable? The curse infiltrated the minds of the organization and even temporarily the mind of the great Favre. "I can still play" he stated at his retirement, then why retire? Because he was not in control... the curse was. Why not beg for Brett to come back? Because of the curse, it had taken over GM Ted Thompson's mind as well as Head Coach Mike McCarthy. And now it has moved into the heads of the Packer nation.

This curse has made people turn on Favre, it has made him untradeable, and the Packers won't even let him compete for the job, his job. Strange I would say. How is this happening? The devastating effects of the Madden curse seem to be unstoppable but I do have a solution. They must bury the cover right now before it is two late. The only way to survive the turmoil is to destroy the artifact carrying it. Someone must get a hold of Madden 09 with Favre on the cover and then bury it in hollowed ground before it is two late. We do not have much time, and Brett's is running out. The curse is going to keep him retired or humiliate him by holding a clip board and we must stop it. Contact EA and ask them, no force them to give you and early copy and then bury it as soon as you can... for Brett, for Football, for the world.

I see what is happening and we must rise up. I have seen a future after buried Madden 09 and it is green and gold. I see Ted Thompson going to the podium the day after and saying "I don't know what just happened but we are bringing Brett back as our starter because he gives us the best chance to win." And I will say "fo sho" and the curse will be lifted.

Friday, July 11, 2008

UPDATE - My Letter Of Intent

I guess I am going to be a Bruin and sport a #1. Hooray Football, Hooray Bruins!

Thursday, July 10, 2008

I Can Smell It In The Air.

Football, Football, Football, you fickle bitch, with me six months and then you leave me with only anticipation and emptiness for six months, only to swoop back into my life like you never left. For the six months you are not around I hear rumors, read articles about you but never really see you. Scorned I pretend not to care about what I hear, but we no that's not true. You know the truth, I am listening, watching, waiting for your inevitable arrival, occasionally watching an old video and walking down memory lane. But I can smell it in the air roasting in the summer heat my meal almost ready.

Today in preparation for the return of the kin. I shall go shopping for new attire. My life and college career begin again in a few days just like every July. The release of EASPORTS NCAA FOOTBALL 09 is upon me and many questions that must be answered still swirl in the wind. What college will I attend, what number will I wear, what system shall I play on, who will I play with, I could go on forever. Today though I will tackle which college I will use for this years game.

This year I am taking a more subdued approach to my preseason in a hope to keep the college spirits high and intense through my month long college career. Then I jump to the pros with MADDEN football in August. Normally I would take my time with my college season but the rumors around the mill have been that this years edition of MADDEN is going to kick major assagge. So with that in Mind, I did not order my Michigan Home, Away, and Special occasion jerseys that I would normally wear when I played... because that is what you do when you play football wear a jersey. I wanted to but this year with the economy and my shortened season I pondered a different approach. I am going to Champs sports today and whatever college football jersey they have in a home and away I am getting. And whatever number is on that jersey is going to be my number. Normally I would search the earth looking for a 16, butt effit. I have seen that number enough, it is time for new pattern or at least a slightly deviated one.

To say that I am excited about the release of NCAA FOOTBALL 09 is an understatement. I have been waiting for this moment since the end of the Pro Bowl. My life focused on a singular event from that moment and it is soon upon us. It looks like I will be a local team this year but it will look great on my Bio. The days are getting closer and I can smell what EA is cooking. My review will come soon after the game is released. On what system I do not know yet. I am very torn.

PS3 or XBOX 360 I can't make up my mind. I truly feel it will be a game time decision. There are pros and cons for both. For the PS3 I really like the controller for football games. Call it what you want but I am very used to the PS controller for football. Plus my friend Ronnie and on again off again rival will be playing Madden on the PS3 which would mean I would have to play college on the PS3 so that I could transfer my college player into Madden and continue my career through that game. On the other hand I love Achievements and the 360 will have them. If you are not familiar with achievements they are extra awards inside the game for doing something special like 5 touchdowns in a game or beat an opponent by 28, etc. Most of my friends are on Xbox Live but the one I would play the most with is on the Playstation network. Decisions decisions, what to do, at this moment I am leaning PS3 but it changes daily. We will see, but regardless of what system I purchase it on football season is here, and I am happy.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Pam Anderson Can Eat My Meat!

Golly it sure does seem like most of my posts are getting a bit sad and mean spirited lately, so why buck the trend. Pam Anderson and her animal humping pals at P.E.T.A. occasionally cause a blip on my radar but usually not enough for me to feel the necessity to launch a strike. Well you ask, what today? What did it today, what was it that finally pushed me over the edge? Let me set up the scenario so that everyone can fully understand where I am coming from if any place at all.

I have two dogs and they are awesome. I love them with everything I have, so much so that I will get in arguments with people if I don't think they a being treated right, or somebody is to good for their smells. I have had pets my whole life and find them to be one of the worlds truly great gifts. I do not own fur, kick puppies, club dolphins, fight chickens or wrestle bears. All that being said I do not condone or appreciate fanatical views on any level. Be it religion, ufology, sports, medicine you name it if there is an extreme view it's more than not misguided and too informed. Too informed you say how is that possible. You ever meet that guy that just start rattling of statistics and references that you will never be able to substantiated and the shit sounds so good you forgot your points due to the mass overload of generic jeopardy information the for mention person begins to spew at you and none of it makes sense and some of it does. I could give you statistics and information on both sides of an argument for anything and make it sound plausible. It all depends on the messenger. That is too informed and PETA is to informed for its own good.

PETA is a fanatical organization that is as publicity hungry as Pam Anderson. They have entered my sports world on several occasions most recently in the case of the last big horse race that happened. Exactly I don't even care about horse racing or Jessica Simpson for that matter (I will get to that soon enough). I eat meat, I know it's bad but what you gonna do. People do stupid shit it happens every second of every day that this planet has circled the Sun since they have been on it. The only thing I heard about prior to the Belmont Stakes or Preakness or Derby or whatever was some lady talking about how shitty the horses are treated. I get it being an athlete is hard work that's why they make the big bucks. OK the horse did not choose to be an athlete but if he could wouldn't he? I would the life of a race horse is not that bad. I run a little some lady gives me a sponge bath, I get some fabulous carrots and people bring me that hottest horses from around the globe so I can stud them. Hell yeah! I think the lady from PETA is a hater pure and simple. Seriously PETA I hope you recycle, don't use plastic, don't eat meat or wear leather drive a hybrid and power your homes with solar power, yeah right. PETA take care of the planet you live on. If you had a group of fanatical uptight asstards watching your every move I bet you guys do a lot of despicable things yourselves.

I love animals but what about people and this planet. Trust me when were gone the animals will be in full control they are just biding their time waiting for us to slip up and we are. PETA you should start worrying about the homeless people in Santa Monica and the Hungry people in our Ghettos. Please get on the ball. I watch people get away with murder and see Vick do time for dogs. I do not condone dog fighting I think it is gross and barbaric but it is what it is. It's not like Vick had a bunch of Chinese immigrants fighting to the death in a steel cage of course it isn't because those guys get no jail time. Where are you now PETA more concerned with the animals than your fellow man. Pathetic.

Finally to my headline. It really steams me when I have to defend something or in this case someone who I normally wouldn't because a bigger jerk is effing with them. Case in point Jessica Simpson Vs Pam Anderson. The jist is Jessica wore some shirt that said I like Meat or Real women eat meat or I like hot sausage I don't know nor do I care, wear whatever. Headlights Anderson then called her a moron and a whore it's not the first I have problem with but the latter that may stroke me the wrong way. If that is not the pot calling the kettle black I do not know what is. What happens when a real whore Pam Anderson calls a fake whore a whore, I believe a rip in the time space continuum is what happens next. At what point did PETA say to themselves you know who would be great to represent us Oprah? No no, how about Angelina? No no, I got it Pam Anderson. Give that group a cookie because they just made a great decision. Unless I am peddling horrible boob jobs or how to make your own sex tape and then leak it video Pam is not my spokeswomen. How can you hold an organization accountable with crazy nuts as their clean up hitter. Look Pam Anderson by definition is well kinda a whore, and don't get me wrong she has totally owned it but I will never take her seriously or anything she has to say as she rolls her Escalade right over homeless people. You're old Pam and not nearly as hot as Jess anymore so hang it up and shut up. Stop looking to start feuds so people can see you on TMZ or read about it on Perez. Pam if you need some help you can eat my meat!

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

My Favre-ITE!

I am glad to see some nice news potentially around the bend. One of my all time favorite athletes may be un-retiring. Number 4 might be back this year with the Green Bay Packers and that would make me very happy. There is no way that he should have retired after last season and there is no way that I thought that it was true. How do you leave after a pro bowl season and a win away from the Superbowl. He has Elway written all over him (Elway was a win away from a Superbowl towards the twilight of his career came back the next year and won two in a row). All I am saying is that the Packers are GOOD with Favre and Shady McNasty with the incumbent Aaron Rodgers. Rodgers may be good but I will take Favre 8 days a week thank you very much.

Favre everyone wants to see you play again and I mean everyone. Listen to the people Brett come back. You are on the cover of Madden and if you win one more Super Bowl I will call you the best EVER! That's right, I will call you the best ever. To sweeten the deal a tad I will also draft you in every one of my fantasy leagues and that's a guarantee you can take to the bank. Please come back and make my football season complete.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

End of the World as We know it?


It's July 1st and all things that could be wrong are so. I don't know where to begin so let's start wherever and I will work my through it enjoy the ride. My Grandmother who was pretty much my mother is dying and it's not pretty. Her system is failing and shutting down all this would almost be tolerable if she was not showing signs of dementia. At this point I have heard her several times go off the deep end and as far as I have heard it is getting progressively worse. She always had her mind, she was always engaging and quick witted surprisingly aware and now that is leaving like her bodily health. I am scared of how I will feel when she dies because as the time gets closer I feel myself getting sadder. On top of that my Father is taking it the worst, which in turn is affecting me as well. Our businesses together are doing sub par and are depleting our family funds to almost nothing. So the death of my Grandma is not going to help my fathers effectiveness in helping me to achieve our goals in this venture. I can see his fear as well and it becomes a window to a future I am running towards and doing nothing to prevent. Which puts me in great fear of what will become of me.

My dog Bebop, both his knees and his hips need to be operated on and it breaks my heart every time I watch him. It makes me so sad. My wife is bored and needs something to get her going and I am not sure what that is. Maybe a house, but that is money and where is it coming from. I am payed well now but what does the future hold, in all estimations it is not looking like more of the same it looks worse. I am having trouble keeping my head up and I feel like everyone is looking to me to save this sinking ship. I don't know what to do. It seems I want to sleep and listen to the incessant chatter that echoes through my mind. I know the path I am on leads to nowhere yet I cannot alter my course.

My dreams are dying, my confidence at times dwindling, what will become of me. I have been beaten down and am finding it harder and harder to get up off the mat. I can feel the pressure and do everything I can to keep it under control but it is a harder and harder task to achieve each day. I have given up on the inside and cannot forgive myself for it. I am at a loss and do not know what do. All is sad around me and I cannot make it better because all is sad inside me(wow that was dramatic).

I know what to do but just don't do it. I have only a coupe of shots left, and my strength at this particular moment is weakening on an almost hourly basis. People are looking to me for answers and I have none. I don't know how to make my father feel better, I do not know how to make more money, and at this time I don't know how to make anybody happy including myself.

I can tell my wife is in the same place, but I try not to show I am right there with her, a faux attempt to look strong when I am not. I mirror her feelings but to not look like a loser I hide them inside. Maybe I am a loser and to say my fears out loud would only confirm these thoughts. Where am I going, how will I get there. I have read to many philosophy books, watched to many documentaries I have the information.

Why is life not easy, it seems like it should be. At this point it seems all that is left is tragedy and old age. I need some help, I need energy to fight but every one is tapped out. I must rise above the ashes but the heat is hot and my wings burned and sweaty. And even if all the things were right for me what of the state of the world. It seems to mimic my being, deflated, lost and at times hopeless.

I am sure this is just a phase but if something is not done it will be what it be. I feel like crying, for everything in a hope to feel better, but it won't let me. On the verge is where it is keeping me, teetering between reality and breakdown, a shadow. What is my story? Is it over or just the beginning of the end or... Just the beginning.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Anti Monkey Butt Powder?

This is just a little fun thing I saw on TV the other day. When I saw the commercial I thought it was fake, I swear. I kept waiting for some Old Spice can to fall from the sky or a Geico Gecko to come running up but they never did. Even as the spot ended I waited for an SNL promo something to not make me feel like someone had dosed me with a substantial amount of acid... still nothing. I promptly got my lazy ass up and found a post it so I could properly remember this for a later date. All night I walked by the post it and pondered what the hell could Anti Monkey Butt Powder be? I tried over and over again but it made no sense just like that glove and O.J.. I went to sleep that night, the mystery still fresh in my head along with who are the final two members of the Oceanic Six (I know months behind what can I do).

I arose from my slumber with one thing on my mind -- Anti Monkey Butt Powder! The reason for only one thing on my and not two was, In my dreams I found out who were the two remaining of the Oceanic Six. Me and my wife so obviously a less pressing mystery. I ate my breakfast, brushed my teeth, elevated my consciousness and began playing MGS4 but something was whispering in the back of my head. Monkey Butt, Monkey Butt scratch your thoughts Monkey Butt. Disturbing perhaps, bothersome maybe, but ultimately the call to adventure is what I interpreted it as and so to the Bat Cave Robin or the upstairs office whatever came first.

Hello friend Google warp speed and there I was You should take a tour it is bound to make you smile if you are 12 which is the low end of my internal comedic target demographic age, I would say I fall somewhere in between 7 to 21. Kicks to the groin, flatulence, double entendre names, and straight forward names that are humorous are all high on the Pepsters scale. I don't want to give away the ending so really check out the website and if it's right for you please take it as a gift from me to you and get some. Enjoy because nobody wants to walk around with Monkey Butt, not even monkeys.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Opposite day ; The Heat Makes Me Crazy!

After yesterdays heartfelt appreciation the heat has flipped my switch and I believe it is pointed in the direction of what irks me to no end. Let me make a list for everyone to see.

1. Bush supporters who are now flag burning liberals. Exactly! Before the last couple of years I have been noticing quite a few people jumping of the Bush bandwagon and trying to align their political views with mine. I am not having it, if you were a Bush supporter 8 years ago you were a douche then and you are still a douche now regardless of what side of the fence you are on. Except of course if you are a douche that supported Bush back then, the same douche supporting Bush now, and the future douche that will support McCain, I tip my hat to you... at least you are consistent.

2. Wannabees who criticize shit they could never do. I at times fall into this category as I will right now. Kobe Bryant sucks blah blah blah blah blah. I wannabe an NBA player for that matter any sort of professional athlete, so what do I do criticize something that I could never possibly do. I can't hit a 16 foot fade away jumper with a 7 foot tall defender closing in on me but when Kobe doesn't make it I have all the advice in the world for him. I am not into the I could do it better if I try, well then stop yapping and do it if not shut up and continue to live in your fantasy world in silence. People that can do don't sit around and watch other people that's for people who don't.

3. Don't tell me what to do with my animal if you don't have an animal, furthermore if you have one animal right this moment for the first time keep watching the Dog Whisperer and shut up. I promise I don't need the advice from a first time parent, spare me.

4. People that have never been in shape telling me how to work out or eat, work on yourself, I'll listen when you are rocking Gerard Butler's body from 300 until then shove another Twinkle in your mouth.

5. Heat, who the hell can I blame for this one, no one really but all those people that are like "it's not that hot you should try down south". You try down south, deep down south.

6. People that think god punishes the sinners like gays, and Jews and other races that do not conform to their archaic way of thinking. Gay marriage in California all good floods in Iowa all bad must be some serious sinners in those mid American red states. Where are all the priest and ministers now talking about how much Iowa has sinned. Maybe god is gay.

7. Keeping with the trend, people that credit god with all the good and none of the bad. Hooray God! How do I get on that program maybe Mr. Cruise can help me.

8. Book smart jack asses that are usually the smartest dumb people I know. knowledge in a book is not practical experience with life. Well, I read that this happens when this happens, alright terdwich but I am telling you I have seen it happen and participated in the happening that little bit of info may be a tad bit more relevant.

9. Free advice and the one upper. I am not asking so save it and I don't care if you know of a better place, a bigger slice of pizza, a cheaper place to buy my books, the most reliable hit man. I promise 90 percent of the time I don't ask but 100 percent of the time I get some awesome free advice that I do not want. I got this so and so for 9 dollars oh really I know where to get for 8. Thanks... for nothing! I just got back from vacation, oh really I just got back from a better one.

10. Assholes that blog about there problems with everything and everybody, LIKE ME!

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Thank You Evil Mrs Peppers

This will be reoccurring column on this blog, it is my appreciation letter to the people I am thankful to have in my life. I have read and been told by many people that one of the best types of personal therapy is to write down what you are thankful for and to show appreciation on an everyday basis if possible. I figure I will start out with once a week and if it grows from there maybe more -- it all depends on how the experiment is working for me... because it ultimately boils down to me.

Thank you Maegan Tintari for being my best friend, my favorite confidant, my go to girl, my computer guru, the only sounding board I listen to. Thank you for hanging out with me, for making me crepes, for laughing at my jokes, for being the teammate I could not win without. Thank you baby for falling asleep on the couch, obsessing about Lost and making this most kick ass blog.

I appreciate all you do, from cleaning up after me when I am messy which is probably all of the time to helping make us financially more stable. I appreciate your honesty (not always at first but always in the end) and your ability to challenge me on every level; spiritually, politically, philosophically and even sometimes physically. I definitely appreciate how hot you are and that you always know what to do (you know what I'm talking about).

Thank you for making me see the other side of the coin and realizing that it takes me a little longer than most (of course when I get it watch out) to get it. Thank you for my wonderful new family and exciting new life. Thank you for helping me out whenever you can for whatever I need.

I appreciate nights of Rock Band and Laker games. I appreciate Taco night and afternoon delight (it rhymed I had to). I appreciate you listening to my crazy imagination and war stories of battles that I have sweated through on the X-box. I appreciate Evil Mrs Peppers and pink controllers.

Thank you for loving me and marrying me for that matter. Thank you for being in my life and for giving me the feeling that I am never alone. I would be lost on an island without you. I Love you so much. Thank you for your love, friendship and loyalty. You are everything to me. Thank You for my amazing life.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

NBA2K8 What a Season

It has been a long but rewarding season and one I shall not soon forget.  I trained hard and fought hard, went through some early season bumps against my persistent competitor but all and all another season of dominance for Evil Mr Peppers.  It is always surprising how far basketball has come as a game and franchise for the home gaming industry. Sports gaming on a competition level has always been a football thing for me and my friends, but the 2k series of hoops has closed the gap considerably over the last four or five years.
As I used Chris Paul last night(33 points 22 assists 5 steals and 3 boards) against my proverbial punching bag Mr. Lane, I gained full appreciation of the game on what potentially could be the last game of our season. You see we play basketball against each other from opening night to the last game of the finals. As the NBA season goes I go. When they stop, I stop so needless to say I was leaving it all on the court last night. Jamie put up a good fight like always but as usual, not enough to stop the P-train for steam rolling him yet again. I know he is looking forward to college football season and so am I. There is a glimmer of a chance that are season will be extended this evening if my Lakers can hang on tonight, I mean when my Lakers hang on tonight.
Realistically though the season is done since I will not be meeting up with my chief rival before next Saturday.
Back to the game at hand, after a another full season of 2k hoops it is my personal impression that they have again solidified themselves as the premiere basketball game on the market. It is an impressive game visually always blurring the line of real and digital scenarios.  The game play is consistently tight with only a few animation bugs but no game is perfect. If I had suggestions more stats for head to had competition, more tournament options for home play against friends, and a more in depth halftime and postgame show. I really enjoyed the lead pass from two years ago I always questioned that move, they should bring it back. Also crowd interaction at some arenas in the game off the chain other arenas pretty lame.  That beings said a great game and am looking forward to next seasons 2k offering even if KG is gracing the cover.

Saturday, June 14, 2008


This is going to go under "judging a book by it's cover and the first four pages" type of review.  I just put in Metal Gear Solid 4 for the PS3 and let's just say I am fairly blown away.  I have not played this game for more than 25 minutes but everything up to that point has been masterful.  The only thought in my head is Kojima... Hideo Kojima that is.  When I was a kid I dreamed of games that would one day rival movies, in there character complexity, creativity and cinematography.  Kojima has bridged the gap with MGS4 his producing and directing skills are unmatched in his median.  As much as Grand Theft Auto 4 is an achievement Metal Gear is something different.

The opening screen is of Snake the hero standing alone in a grave yard.  First off the music is dark and seductive with a twist of sadness which immediately evokes emotion into the game/story.  The visuals strong and symbolic the skills of a genius director already evident, a master of his craft constructing the mood and tempo of his carefully manipulated epic he prepares to drop you into.  The camera Fincheresque pans from the back and swoops low across the graves to center in on the old soldier in his suit the pain of accelerated years worn on his face.  He pulls out his gun and loads a single bullet before falling to his knees.  We pan up  and the adventure begins.
The game starts and you are assaulted with dream like visuals from Kojimas imagination. Random commercials with real actors and graphical overlays seep into your vision, almost haunting your sense with surreal imagery and off the wall concepts. Where am I, is what you feel, soon followed by "I am ready for my ticket sir".

After a wild television show that you must see for yourself to do it justice you are thrust into his world.  Somber music underlays our hero's monologue as he speaks about the themes that we are about to experience; control, greed, the lack of respect for life, and the never ending circle of tyranny under the guise of freedom.  The credits fade on and off the screen with the precision of a great film.  The shots beautiful, each moment like a masterpiece of digital artistry and then seamlessly you start your mission.
Hurray Kojima! You are an artist of the new millenia.  And Hooray Metal Gear Solid 4 a game totally worthy of the hype.  I think... at least by the cover and the first few pages.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Keep it on the L.O. Down.

Great victory for the Lakers last night all though they are making it hard to watch. This series has been dominated by the Celtics. In each of the first three games the Lakers have been unable to break a hundred points -- this is not Laker basketball and if this trend continues they will surely lose the series. Kobe is greatness and every night he is bringing it, his court intelligence unparalleled but he cannot do it alone. Sasha, great last night, not backing down and providing the fire the team needed but again if two huge components do not step up, we(Laker fans) will be relegated to -- at least we got to the finals.
I love Kobester, but I am a Pau - L. O. guy. These guys must be aggressive. Odom you got to take it to the rim hard, repeatedly even if you miss. You got to go hard, with power and purpose, your skill set is to good to be a non factor. It's like the guys forgot how to throw it down -- they must focus and especially L.O.
Now onto Pau, if I have to watch Kendrick Perkins scream and shout one more time, I am going to punch Gasol -- in the face -- with aggression, so he knows what it looks like. Pau, you can abuse these fools, you need to throw them down to the ground and stop acting like a finesse player. Throw those fools down. Garnett scares me too, but it's time to slay the dragon by putting him on his ass. The Lakes can win this series and the will -- but Pau and L.O. got to bring the thunder or it's not going to happen. L.A. is not soft and we have to start acting like it. Go Lakers!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Bored to Blog (Lakers in 7)

This was totally going to be a Lakers blog and about three sentences into it I got really bored, and pressed delete... for a while. I needed to write something and for lack of an inspiring topic, I thought Lakers in 7! That's about what I got Lakers in 7. Now that is some creative poo right there, seriously I should be able to talk about this series all day, but I won't. Instead am going to write about the fact that i don't feel like writing about that. I'm not sure at this point that this topic is much better, but it is filling up more space. Most days i have something that is really burning my crotch ( obviously I should edit that last sentence but for the humor it stays.) and I need to verbally scratch it but not today. I mean, I do have things but just not enough energy. normally I would like to keep to consistent themes for this blog like... who am I kidding there will never be much consistency attached to this writing only a small glimmering hope that I may entertain some laptop jockey enough to make them giggle. Or not. The noises surrounding my cage are interesting today the Bare is grumbling (not a mistake it's my Bare) louder then usual it's his Monday so it's understandable. I am leaving now or soon must escape my boredom.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008


Initially I figured I would not complain in this blog, that apparently is not going to happen. I am overjoyed that I made it as long as my second post -- so here it goes. In the last week I have received two parking tickets and three over the course of the last four months. This is ridiculous considering they were about the bunkis ass tickets I have ever received. The did in fact have three things in common; an awesome red car, some super ticky tac shit and the most important a trio of overzealous Meter Maidens!

Addressing the first fact -- the awesome red car. I have been driving the Pep Rex approximately four months, that is how long I have been trying to sell it as well. I know people peep when I'm driving my 93 blood red Mazda Rx-7 around town but seriously why all the haters -- the car is not that cool. It attracts cops and meter maids like junkies to crack. It seems to emanate a beacon to assholes everywhere "look at me" and ding my door or chip my paint or give me an unnecessary ticket.

Secondly, on all occasions I totally could have been given a pass on these tickets. I swear -- and I know it is hard to believe but these tickets were all up for interpretation and like a first year art student these jerks had no idea what they were looking at. One the time had expired for 5 minutes on Christmas Eve, the Grinch was just waiting staring at my car and as soon as the five minute mark hit BAM! Right as I was walking out. The second some vandal had bent the no parking sign all the way down to the ground so no one could see it -- except of course for the eagle eyed parking jockey (I was actually going to fight it but did not want to waste the time) and finally today my bumper was in a foot literally one shoe length in the red zone and Barney Fyfe wrote me a ticket.

Thirdly and most importantly the Meter Maids themselves. Normally I stick up for people in jobs that take a lot of criticism. I am not a jump on and attack type person but it has gone to far. Each one of these individuals were not just doing there job. They were being assholes -- who even goes and applies for that job. Let's see what do I want to do for a living, oh yeah I would like to be a professional snitch in a tiny car and bad uniform. I think growing up that is what I told grandma I wanted to be. I confronted the last meter maid and all he could say was "a foot is a foot" up yours meter dilhole I'd like to stick my foot is a foot straight up your rectum!

Look there is only one thing to do. Any time you see one of these douche stains you must thwart them. Put change in the meter and run, look out for your fellow citizen if he or she parks poorly let them know. Don't let them fall victim to these vultures. The next time I see one I am just gonna start making a scene (very mature I know but I'm hurt -- I'm hurt).

I am an excellent driver and do all I can to obey the rules, I used to drive professionally (international smuggler), I have never been in an accident and have only received to traffic violations in college. I actually go out of my way to obey all the lame laws but watch what happens when start to abuse the good one -- Vive la Revolution. End Meter MAID tyranny once and for all. The next time you see and injustice stand up and be an obnoxious asshole trust me they deserve it and don't forget to call your Grandma.

Monday, March 31, 2008

Inspiration Comes in Weird Packages

I had imagined the event that with inspire my creativity would by a bit more -- I don't know, symbolic to me personally. I have had this space for a couple of months now and have been neglecting it like a fat man to a work out. My wife created it for me in an effort to jump start my creativity -- which has been on hiatus for the last 18 months -- to this day it had not worked.

When my boy Brett Favre retired I thought it was time, when the Lakers went on the big winning streak I thought it was the time, when I turned 32 I was almost positive it was the time, but none of them right. It is a weird thing when inspiration comes wrapped up in death. Life is strange and inconceivable most of the time but every once in a while it's slips in a little spot of clarity in which you may peer through and look into the future.

I feel as though Scotty has created my portal of awareness with his untimely passing. He was crazy and the wildest dude I had ever met -- maybe sometimes. I know how my friend died and it is sad. He overdosed on a Ledger of pills, now I don't know this as fact -- but I do. He was loaded a lot, noticeably most of the time. I know what it is like to want to escape -- I have been loaded with him on many occasion, I thought he was living on borrowed time. I didn't realize his ticket was coming up so soon. It makes you ponder your own reality, your own choices, and ultimately your own decisions. Everything is a window into yourself, you can look through and see the world or you can close the blinds and pretend nothing is out there. I wonder if Scotty had decided there was nothing out there anymore.

I want to say that this occurrence will change my life -- but it probably won't. I want to say that his death changed my view and my choices but it didn't. It's not that I don't care -- I just don't know if life has the impact anymore to invoke those type of changes.

I will say this though.
You have inspired me with your weird little gift my friend, and I hope wherever you are now, you're pinching sacks and telling horrible sex stories that nobody wants to hear. It was good knowing you Duper --- R.I.P.